I feel that a person is as old as the number of generation that succeeds him when he is alive.
My father, though at 84, was not considered old as he still had a daughter living with him and a 11 year old grand son hanging around him. But people of his age had his children married who in turn had their daughters/sons in law and they had children of marriageable age. So, they become great great grand parents and the relationship they share with the younger generation is not as strong and the loneliness creeps in, despite the fact they might stay in as single family.
I would love to be contradicted and this is meerly an experience I felt when looking at people of his age.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Monday, May 28, 2007
Daddy Dearest
A boy, who lost his mother at a tender age of three and came to live with his grandparents , who were staunch Vaishnavites, in a remote village of Therazhundur, fled to Calcutta when he was 14 years, inspired by the communist movement. Later on joined an Italian company to earn his living !
But I am surprised that for a boy who had no guardian, coming from a village to a sprawling metropolis could take to constructive activities, learning languages, Tamil, English, Bengali , Sanskrit and even Italian. He was one of the founder members of the Tamil Writers Association in Calcutta and presided over many of their functions. He was truly a master of languages, I stumbled upon a book which is Tamil Lipi in original, the ancient Tamil script!
He recalls that day in the year 57, a depressed young man, further depressed by the news of his brother’s untimely death , had to go to Madras to perform the last rites. He found his brother’s room was full of God’s idols and the aura there in that room, which gave him the courage to fight life and take on the responsibility of his brother’s children.
He adopted himself to the circumstances , visited temples of all religion, climbed up to Vaishnao Devi, Badrinath and Golden Temple. He knew the customs, religiously practiced the traditions, but never forced us to practice. He believed in his religion , yet he accepted those who did not.
I should take cue from my father’s life and stop worrying myself with the friends that my son makes, and about his activities in my absence. If the then capital city of India, couldn’t spoil a village lad , the present capital city of India can not negatively influence my son !!
Akash : Am I right ??
But I am surprised that for a boy who had no guardian, coming from a village to a sprawling metropolis could take to constructive activities, learning languages, Tamil, English, Bengali , Sanskrit and even Italian. He was one of the founder members of the Tamil Writers Association in Calcutta and presided over many of their functions. He was truly a master of languages, I stumbled upon a book which is Tamil Lipi in original, the ancient Tamil script!
He recalls that day in the year 57, a depressed young man, further depressed by the news of his brother’s untimely death , had to go to Madras to perform the last rites. He found his brother’s room was full of God’s idols and the aura there in that room, which gave him the courage to fight life and take on the responsibility of his brother’s children.
He adopted himself to the circumstances , visited temples of all religion, climbed up to Vaishnao Devi, Badrinath and Golden Temple. He knew the customs, religiously practiced the traditions, but never forced us to practice. He believed in his religion , yet he accepted those who did not.
I should take cue from my father’s life and stop worrying myself with the friends that my son makes, and about his activities in my absence. If the then capital city of India, couldn’t spoil a village lad , the present capital city of India can not negatively influence my son !!
Akash : Am I right ??
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
A month gone by…….
Last month on 8th April at 9:00 pm, when I received the news, my world came to a standstill. My son thought I fainted and rushed to me with Glucon-D. I felt it would be impossible to continue living with out him for never in my wildest imagination I thought of my life without him. But alas, we are forced to continue living, do our duty as he did his till he was alive.
Sundays meant going out and enjoying Kulfi at Roshan di Kulfi or Chole Bhature at Nathus in Connaught Place. We never had to ask him for anything. We got whatever we needed. Whether it is carom board, cycle, it was there for us.
After his retirement, he used to insist on serving us food which we used to dread for he would fill out plates with huge quantity of food. And for a man, who never had to enter kitchen even to fetch a glass of water, he used to prepare tea and bring it to me upstairs when I was studying. He , at the age of 60 for my recovery of health did angapradshanam at Tirupati along with me.
He had a huge collection of Bengali,Tamil, English classics and was a voracious reader till his last days. The day he found it difficult to read even the newspaper, he lost his interest to live. He felt his brain is dying as it was not being nourished.
I had an opportunity to host him for a couple of months. He enjoyed teaching Sanskrit to my son and talk about the freedom struggle and teach him those few chapters in history. It was interesting to hear some one narrate about Khudiram Bose , Netaji in first person. He enjoyed the pakodas, fried vegetables which I cooked for him and ofcourse he had his chole bhature too.
He was very excited that he his going to have his hip surgery and would be able to walk on his own and even challenged my son for a game of cricket. Despite his handicap after the accident, he never felt handicapped. He used to move the objects in the house, took to washing clothes. He was disappointed that in my house, I had a maid doing all those chores and he was to sit idle. Much to people’s wonder, he enjoyed the malls, traveling places, eating ice cream at Mc Donalds, even in his 80s.
I am proud that the death embraced him without any pain . May he attain his moksha.
Sundays meant going out and enjoying Kulfi at Roshan di Kulfi or Chole Bhature at Nathus in Connaught Place. We never had to ask him for anything. We got whatever we needed. Whether it is carom board, cycle, it was there for us.
After his retirement, he used to insist on serving us food which we used to dread for he would fill out plates with huge quantity of food. And for a man, who never had to enter kitchen even to fetch a glass of water, he used to prepare tea and bring it to me upstairs when I was studying. He , at the age of 60 for my recovery of health did angapradshanam at Tirupati along with me.
He had a huge collection of Bengali,Tamil, English classics and was a voracious reader till his last days. The day he found it difficult to read even the newspaper, he lost his interest to live. He felt his brain is dying as it was not being nourished.
I had an opportunity to host him for a couple of months. He enjoyed teaching Sanskrit to my son and talk about the freedom struggle and teach him those few chapters in history. It was interesting to hear some one narrate about Khudiram Bose , Netaji in first person. He enjoyed the pakodas, fried vegetables which I cooked for him and ofcourse he had his chole bhature too.
He was very excited that he his going to have his hip surgery and would be able to walk on his own and even challenged my son for a game of cricket. Despite his handicap after the accident, he never felt handicapped. He used to move the objects in the house, took to washing clothes. He was disappointed that in my house, I had a maid doing all those chores and he was to sit idle. Much to people’s wonder, he enjoyed the malls, traveling places, eating ice cream at Mc Donalds, even in his 80s.
I am proud that the death embraced him without any pain . May he attain his moksha.
Monday, April 09, 2007
Faith versus Belief
More often people advise us to have faith in God. What is this faith? I do believe in His existence. I do not follow the rituals traditionally, but yes I do love Them in my own way. I know HE is the guiding force. But isn't faith accepting the decisions without questioning. Is it really possible for us to surrender to His decision? By questioning His decision, do I become an atheist? I do believe Him , but not enough complete faith in accepting the decisions He makes are the right ones.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Differently abled People
That’s how I would like to refer to people who are handicapped. For, how else can one explain the feat performed by Moksha. My best wishes to Vijay Colaco and Rama and may their dream to form a theatre group come true!!!
I would appreciate if this link is forwarded to as many of your friends , so that an awareness be created.
I would appreciate if this link is forwarded to as many of your friends , so that an awareness be created.
Monday, March 26, 2007
My Father
My father got married when he was 43 years and I was born on his 44th birthday. My father had about 16 years of service with him to guarantee us a secured future. This must have been the main concern for him and so he was busy during our childhood days. Still, we managed to dine together and travel to almost all parts of the country from Kashmir to Kanyakumari. He retired when I was 17 years. But unfortunately at that time, we were busy with our friends, making a career for us and so we didn’t have time for each other.
He never talked about his childhood and youth. We have heard about his kind acts and not so kind acts from our relatives. We experience his knowledge and wisdom in our everyday life. When I stumbled on a few write ups of his, I realized that he is an enigma. I really wish God grants me and my father a couple of years together so that I can chronicle his life and to pass on the wisdom to our future generation.
He never talked about his childhood and youth. We have heard about his kind acts and not so kind acts from our relatives. We experience his knowledge and wisdom in our everyday life. When I stumbled on a few write ups of his, I realized that he is an enigma. I really wish God grants me and my father a couple of years together so that I can chronicle his life and to pass on the wisdom to our future generation.
Friday, March 09, 2007
Ten things that I love starting with 'T"
T : twentieth letter, the letter that is a word in itself, and I am tagged to write ten things I like that start with it. the first thing that came to my mind is
Time : I love it, as this is one thing that is mine. What ever I do with it, solely I am responsible for it.
Tea : I am a tea addict. Needless to say more about that drink. Never say no for this delectable drink, even in scorching summers.
Train : I cant forget the numerous train journeys from Delhi to Madras on all summer holidays. The excitement leading to tiredness and by the time, one reaches Egmore, the desire to jump from the train and run to Madras Central. The steam engines which mades us dirty and darker by the time we reach Madras.
Tram : When talking of trains, this was one mode of transport I used to travel when I was in Calcutta.
Tamil : My mother tongue. Knowing that language opened doors to Silappadigaram, lyrics of Kannadasan, Andal’s Thirupavai, fictions of Sujata and Akhilan.
Telephone : Thanks to Graham Bell, It keeps me connected to all.
Talking : Ask my friends and family. I would not write abt it.
Tiffin : My mother coming out with varied recipes everyday at 3:00 p.m. , which was our tiffin time. Miss them.
Trailers : I enjoy seeing them, so that I get to know the jist of the film. This just reminded me of a incident, I just will share it with you all. Me and my sisters used to walk to school. Then, on Sundays, trailer of movie used to come in Vivid Bharati . My sister was a movie craze and would sit glued near to the transistor and listen to all these programmes. Just taking a cue from one of the trailers, she narrated the story of Ram Balram. Well, till we went to the theatre to see the movie, we didn’t know it was all figment of her imaginations.
Tag : If not for this tag, I would not have got a theme to write.I hope I kept upto your expctations. Thank you, Lalitha.
I also wanted to write Tantrums but I enjoyed while I was throwing the tantrums, not when I am at the receiving end, which I am more often now with a eleven year son at home.
Time : I love it, as this is one thing that is mine. What ever I do with it, solely I am responsible for it.
Tea : I am a tea addict. Needless to say more about that drink. Never say no for this delectable drink, even in scorching summers.
Train : I cant forget the numerous train journeys from Delhi to Madras on all summer holidays. The excitement leading to tiredness and by the time, one reaches Egmore, the desire to jump from the train and run to Madras Central. The steam engines which mades us dirty and darker by the time we reach Madras.
Tram : When talking of trains, this was one mode of transport I used to travel when I was in Calcutta.
Tamil : My mother tongue. Knowing that language opened doors to Silappadigaram, lyrics of Kannadasan, Andal’s Thirupavai, fictions of Sujata and Akhilan.
Telephone : Thanks to Graham Bell, It keeps me connected to all.
Talking : Ask my friends and family. I would not write abt it.
Tiffin : My mother coming out with varied recipes everyday at 3:00 p.m. , which was our tiffin time. Miss them.
Trailers : I enjoy seeing them, so that I get to know the jist of the film. This just reminded me of a incident, I just will share it with you all. Me and my sisters used to walk to school. Then, on Sundays, trailer of movie used to come in Vivid Bharati . My sister was a movie craze and would sit glued near to the transistor and listen to all these programmes. Just taking a cue from one of the trailers, she narrated the story of Ram Balram. Well, till we went to the theatre to see the movie, we didn’t know it was all figment of her imaginations.
Tag : If not for this tag, I would not have got a theme to write.I hope I kept upto your expctations. Thank you, Lalitha.
I also wanted to write Tantrums but I enjoyed while I was throwing the tantrums, not when I am at the receiving end, which I am more often now with a eleven year son at home.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Conversation with Akash, my son
Mostly, every night me and my son huddled under the quilt talk about the day's events and other general trivia. Yesterday's conversation went something like this :
Akash : I was a very good boy yesterday. No bad behaviour. But today, I made some mistakes. Devil acted but v.little of it.
Me: Devil has entered but not conquered your goodness.once you let them enter, they conquer.
Akash : Now if the good fights the devil , good will win. Since they are in majority , they will win. Even English people were like that. They came to trade, we made them enter thru Gateway of India, gave them permission, and they conquered us and ruled us.
Me : Ya, Throw the devil out and shut the door tightly so that it does not enter.
Akash : I will appoint a Security Guard and see o it that devil does not enter.
Me : Good idea. Who is it going to be?
Moment of silence
Akash : God
Me : Great. But you need to pay the Security Guard.
Akash : How do I?
Me : simple , by getting good marks and being good.
Akash : okey. Now I can sleep peacefully. Good night
Akash : I was a very good boy yesterday. No bad behaviour. But today, I made some mistakes. Devil acted but v.little of it.
Me: Devil has entered but not conquered your goodness.once you let them enter, they conquer.
Akash : Now if the good fights the devil , good will win. Since they are in majority , they will win. Even English people were like that. They came to trade, we made them enter thru Gateway of India, gave them permission, and they conquered us and ruled us.
Me : Ya, Throw the devil out and shut the door tightly so that it does not enter.
Akash : I will appoint a Security Guard and see o it that devil does not enter.
Me : Good idea. Who is it going to be?
Moment of silence
Akash : God
Me : Great. But you need to pay the Security Guard.
Akash : How do I?
Me : simple , by getting good marks and being good.
Akash : okey. Now I can sleep peacefully. Good night
Friday, December 29, 2006
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Take or Give....?
Most of us feel that we are doing our duty by taking care of our old parents/parents-in-law. Yes, I agree and accept that we are helping them by providing them the shelter, food and immediate help in case of medical urgency. We feel mighty proud, if we are able to do this so called duty. But have we ever sat back and realized, by providing them with these simple basic necessities, we are binding them to the family duties and not relieving them of it. Most of you would say that we tell them to rest, but is it possible in true sense?
They monitor the battalion of servants that we have . They take care of the bills and last but not the least our children are well cared. We, in order to raise in the corporate ladder have numerous office parties to attend to, tours and stay late night in offices , as our parents take care of our house.
But when our parents need to go out on any occasion, they would probably think about our office tour plans and our children’s exam schedule. But come to think of it, this is what they did in their young age also. Very few people of our generation had their grand parents stay with them . So, the onus of bringing us up was solely on them . Creche , probably was very few and unheard off. They sacrificed their trips for our exams and saved their money so that we can go out for picnics/excursions.
Why do we not give them an opportunity to live their life , visit us when they want and not when we want them. Most of you would probably argue that they need to live with us so that they feel belonged to, but have we ever given them a choice?
I use this opportunity to thank my parents and numerous other parents who take care of their grand children with the same love that they showered on us.
P.S. : My mother does not agree to the above view. She feels that these are not mundane chores and besides having children and grand children make them feel young and the need to live.
They monitor the battalion of servants that we have . They take care of the bills and last but not the least our children are well cared. We, in order to raise in the corporate ladder have numerous office parties to attend to, tours and stay late night in offices , as our parents take care of our house.
But when our parents need to go out on any occasion, they would probably think about our office tour plans and our children’s exam schedule. But come to think of it, this is what they did in their young age also. Very few people of our generation had their grand parents stay with them . So, the onus of bringing us up was solely on them . Creche , probably was very few and unheard off. They sacrificed their trips for our exams and saved their money so that we can go out for picnics/excursions.
Why do we not give them an opportunity to live their life , visit us when they want and not when we want them. Most of you would probably argue that they need to live with us so that they feel belonged to, but have we ever given them a choice?
I use this opportunity to thank my parents and numerous other parents who take care of their grand children with the same love that they showered on us.
P.S. : My mother does not agree to the above view. She feels that these are not mundane chores and besides having children and grand children make them feel young and the need to live.
Monday, December 04, 2006
Profound Thought
My beautician once commented that we accept unconditionally our parents , siblings and children, despite their defects and handicaps but when it comes to spouse, we do have difficulties .
Yes, no matter what, we don’t discard our parents/siblings /children and remain loving to them, but in case of spouse, we find it hard to accept and it takes time and often we compromise which is not actually accepting.
Yes, no matter what, we don’t discard our parents/siblings /children and remain loving to them, but in case of spouse, we find it hard to accept and it takes time and often we compromise which is not actually accepting.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Just another day....
Everyday, I decide that I should contribute for my blog. I read the post of all the regular blogs that I frequent. (Have not yet learnt blogrolling…..) . It has been more than a month since I have posted any thing on my blog as rightly pointed by Prithika. Somehow, it looks like the thoughts and other activities in my brain have taken a winter break. Well, let them enjoy the break and get rejuvenated. May be I might stumble on something interesting on their return. Till then,
Monday, October 23, 2006
Aiming High : My son
My son was just about two years old , when I realized his sense of perfection and interest in cooking. One evening , when I had cut the brinjals and put them in the frying pan and was coming out to sit in front of TV waiting for the brinjals to fry. This kid, could not speak then, pulled my kurta and dragged me back to kitchen and instructed me to stir the vegetable till it gets done. Well, it was his practice to taste the vegetable from the raw stage, to the semi cooked and fully cooked vegetable . I used to enjoy seeing his expression and was proud of the fact that, unlike other parents I never had to worry about his eating habits. As long as the food was cooked in front of him, he would eat anything. Even now, he is the taster in our house.
When he started going out to play, he wielded the willows and I saw a budding cricketer in him. And a friendly neighbour who was a journalist captured his photo and had it published in Hindustan Times. Yes, now he is 10 years and still cooking and cricket fascinate him. But yes his ambitions do vary.
In the last couple of years till the last world cup (cricket) , when Australia was emerging victorious, my son wanted to join the Australian cricket team and was figuring out ways to go to Australia. But now, he feels he can only save the Indian cricket team from losing , provided he has Yuvraj Singh playing the game along with him.
Last year, one day as I was getting ready for my office, he wakes up and tells me that he has finally decided what he ants to be when he grows up. I was overjoyed, and glad that at such an early age my son has got a direction till I heard him say :”Mama, I want to be a girl when I grow up”. Well, I was speechless and probably thought I have a junior Michael Jackson in front of me.
His recent aim is to fly planes and he had a tough choice between Indian Airforce and the private airlines. He has finally settled for Indian Airforce, when he got to know that they have big canteens which is just like anther super market where he could get things at a discounted price. Probably he wants a game CD at a cheaper price or a beyblade. But I am glad for this decision, because now he watches TV from a distance, lest he might have to wear spectacles and be disqualified from flying and tries to eat nutritious food as a part of body building.
I can just end with this words “ whatever will be will be, the future is not ours to see’ and wish him all the best.
When he started going out to play, he wielded the willows and I saw a budding cricketer in him. And a friendly neighbour who was a journalist captured his photo and had it published in Hindustan Times. Yes, now he is 10 years and still cooking and cricket fascinate him. But yes his ambitions do vary.
In the last couple of years till the last world cup (cricket) , when Australia was emerging victorious, my son wanted to join the Australian cricket team and was figuring out ways to go to Australia. But now, he feels he can only save the Indian cricket team from losing , provided he has Yuvraj Singh playing the game along with him.
Last year, one day as I was getting ready for my office, he wakes up and tells me that he has finally decided what he ants to be when he grows up. I was overjoyed, and glad that at such an early age my son has got a direction till I heard him say :”Mama, I want to be a girl when I grow up”. Well, I was speechless and probably thought I have a junior Michael Jackson in front of me.
His recent aim is to fly planes and he had a tough choice between Indian Airforce and the private airlines. He has finally settled for Indian Airforce, when he got to know that they have big canteens which is just like anther super market where he could get things at a discounted price. Probably he wants a game CD at a cheaper price or a beyblade. But I am glad for this decision, because now he watches TV from a distance, lest he might have to wear spectacles and be disqualified from flying and tries to eat nutritious food as a part of body building.
I can just end with this words “ whatever will be will be, the future is not ours to see’ and wish him all the best.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Rainbow : ME
I have taken this tag from Shankari . Eight Qualities about myself . I would like to think that I am as colourful as rainbow .
- I hate dressing up. In my house, my husband and son spend more time in front of the mirror than I do.
- Gold : I hate that metal. I find it gaudy. Would prefer silver, stones and artificial jewellery any time.
- Am lazy to walk and cant stand at one place even for five minutes.
- I trust everyone, despite my friends and well wishers who warn me against.
- I find it most difficult to choose the menu in a restaurant or a dress from a shop. Either I end up liking all or none.
- Just cant vanish my smile . It irritates many and unfortunately my son has inherited that trait from me . All his teachers complaint that he is the only boy smiling when he receives scolding. Hw do I explain the teacher that it was unintentional. :(
- Can never say ‘No’ to sweets and am a caffeine addit.
- There are many more colours to myself , but I shall restrict to seven just like rainbow.
Just realised that this can also be taken as few weird characters about me, I recollect that tag was on some time back in few blogs. But now I guess i am just a weirdo :)
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Dilemma (Theoretical versus Practical)
It is said that men learn from their failures while the wiser ones learn from others failures.
Considering that all are not born wiser, is it all right for the children to learn the hard way? Would they really understand the extent of fire burns till they really get burnt?
How can we decide what is to be taught theoretical and where to go practical and which lessons should not be taught???
Considering that all are not born wiser, is it all right for the children to learn the hard way? Would they really understand the extent of fire burns till they really get burnt?
How can we decide what is to be taught theoretical and where to go practical and which lessons should not be taught???
Thursday, September 14, 2006
The song that I came to sing........ by Tagore
The song that I came to sing remains
unsung to this day.
I have spent my days in stringing and in
unstringing my instrument.
The time has not come true, the words
have not been rightly set; only there is the
agony of wishing in my heart.
The blossom has not opened; only the
wind is sighing by.
I have not seen his face, nor have I
listened to his voice; only I have heard his
gentle footsteps from the road before my
house.
The livelong day has passed in spreading
his seat on the floor; but the lamp has not
been lit and I cannot ask him into my
house.
I live in the hope of meeting with him;
but the meeting is not yet.
--from Gitanjali
P.S. this poem phrases my mental condition. Had I been Tagore, I would have written the above lines, but Chitra that i am ,you had to read the post below. : ).
unsung to this day.
I have spent my days in stringing and in
unstringing my instrument.
The time has not come true, the words
have not been rightly set; only there is the
agony of wishing in my heart.
The blossom has not opened; only the
wind is sighing by.
I have not seen his face, nor have I
listened to his voice; only I have heard his
gentle footsteps from the road before my
house.
The livelong day has passed in spreading
his seat on the floor; but the lamp has not
been lit and I cannot ask him into my
house.
I live in the hope of meeting with him;
but the meeting is not yet.
--from Gitanjali
P.S. this poem phrases my mental condition. Had I been Tagore, I would have written the above lines, but Chitra that i am ,you had to read the post below. : ).
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Is there a way ?
I am a mere spectator to life passing by and notice the harm being done. I know what is happening is not right and can only forsee gloom and darkness. I know that by being observer , I am equally responsible for tomorrow. Is that what is fate, which curtails my hand from holding out.
I know that I would be told that I can change the destiny by my strong will and determination. Yes , I know I have the will and the desire but cannot see the way? All I can do is say a little prayer to God for a little miracle and guidance.
I know that I would be told that I can change the destiny by my strong will and determination. Yes , I know I have the will and the desire but cannot see the way? All I can do is say a little prayer to God for a little miracle and guidance.
Monday, September 04, 2006
To forgive and forget
"To err is human , to forgive is divine."
We all accept apologies from our spouse, children, friends and let the bygones be and continue the relation as it existed. But , later on, at a different time and on different occasion, these issues crop up again.
Does it mean that we have not forgiven the person in true sense. I feel to forgive means to forget that instance. Is it really possible or do we have to be 'divine'" to forgive and forget.
We all accept apologies from our spouse, children, friends and let the bygones be and continue the relation as it existed. But , later on, at a different time and on different occasion, these issues crop up again.
Does it mean that we have not forgiven the person in true sense. I feel to forgive means to forget that instance. Is it really possible or do we have to be 'divine'" to forgive and forget.
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